By Daniel Maurer
Bro-cab-u-lary (n.): A innovative new lexicon for bonding together with your bros positioned down your BlackBerry, you PDA-hole, and cancel that masturdate it is time for Brocabulary: a bawdy new dicktionary. this important addition in your guybrary will placed you within the testosterzone, even if you are being fandiloquent on the online game or barticulating in the course of a fargone-versation. how you can: outline your stripping element (the distinct variety of J?ger pictures that make a lady are looking to get bare with you). opt for your self the subsequent Abraham Drinkin' and make an Inebriation Proclamation ("Four whores and 7 beers in the past . . ."). cease brocrastinating! it is time to develop into everyone's guydol via leaving your mark on dudescussions for generations to come back.
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Additional info for Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo of Dude Talk
Term used for the office when you’re boffing a coworker 54 PL AY ER PAL AVER Ah, the office life: Day after tedious day of going in and out of revolving doors, in and out of Excel documents, and in and out of client meetings. Who can blame the man whose mind turns to the ol’ in and out? Why populate spreadsheets when you can copulate on top of bedsheets? Closing that deal with the Japanese takes months of negotiation, dozens of lawyers and accountants, and several cross-continental flights—whereas closing the deal with the new marketing assistant takes just four shots of tequila.
44 BA R TICUL ATION WASTED WORDS gutterly wasted – Passed out in the gutter. frathoused – As shithoused as an entire frat house. Hasselhoffed – You can’t even pick up the cheeseburger you so desperately crave. ) pankled – Your pants are around your ankles. slammedicapped – You can’t do the most basic things—you have to ask your bros to reach into your pants to pull out your car keys for you. spintoxicated – Intoxicated to the point where stuff starts spinning. Soy sauced – You forget Spanish isn’t your first language and you tell someone, “Soy sauced” (“I am sauced”).
Barticulars – The details about which bar you’re meeting up at, etc. benderdome – A one-on-one drinking session cum competition between you and your bro in which “two men enter, one man leaves,” in the tradition of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. It’s up to you whether you want to go as far as incorporating a Wheel of Fortune that outlines fates such as Amputation, Gulag, or Thirty Hours of Lifetime Television. 28 BA R TICUL ATION bingeury – An injury that occurs during a binge. ” Thought losing your credit card was bad?